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Pieces I Left Behind

by Cam Torrente

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Evann Carter
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Evann Carter The poetic genius and cranberry juice enthusiast Cam Torrente is the most wonderful person on this planet and their musical talent is inspiring. Favorite track: We're Gonna Be All Right.
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1.
I've got that feeling again It tastes like cotton and it looks like rain Static sounds as I sink through a dream I don't have the power to turn off the screen I can't sleep; all I've got is sleep I don't know what to do I'll just keep on trying to I've had this feeling for years It affects my vision and produces tears Thoughts too loud, play another sad song Things are much less lonely with the radio on I can't dream about anything I don't think I'm okay I'll just sing about all of The things that I don't say
2.
I wish I could write a love song strong enough to make the strongest men shiver weak in their beds And I wish I could sing that love song loud enough to bring the doubted men back from the dead I would, I would, but I stay at home instead I wish I could paint a picture bold enough to make the oldest men shake in their strife And I want that picture to offend enough so people wanna end my artistic life I would, I would, but instead I paint with a knife Oh, do you ever get that feeling Like you just can't do anything right? Oh, do you feel your scars stop healing And you wanna reach to the stars and turn out their lights? I wish I could sing a song so beautifully that all the world might see and want to hear And I wish that the songs I sing would bend and ring and that the notes would be crystal clear I would, I would, but I close my mouth out of fear I wish that the words I said would be so kind that they would touch your mind and your heart would change And I wish that you'd think about the words I said until you bled them out to this world sad and strange You would, you would, but you're something I cannot tame Oh, do you ever get that feeling Like everything you know is out of your control? Oh, do you feel your heart stop healing And you're scared that it will never be whole? I wish that I could be someone strong enough
3.
1990, you marched kindly through the years We're so glad you chose to come here Kick your shoes off, dance on ground soft For the one that you hold me dear You pray to God each night to ease your fears Stretch your arms out to the sky You know too well that to live we must die And through your voice I hear you cry This song is for your sad eyes You sometimes sit still to find out his will For the life you want to lead And you know your dad would have agreed Six thousand feet above Oh, well you're in love with love And humbly you plead That you'll get what you want instead of what you need Stretch your arms out to the sky You know too well that to live we must die And through your voice I hear you cry This song is for your sad eyes
4.
When you move out of this town, oh, please promise me That you will not forget to keep in touch Maybe call once a week or every other month Or twice a year; I swear that you won't have to call much Just call enough so I will hear the sound of your voice So you don't fade away like all those other boys When you move out of this town, oh, please promise me That you will not forget that I exist Across state lines and country bounds I know you will be busy But please, oh please, oh please promise me this But if you just let go of me and let me fade away Well, that is fine, cause for me at least you will stay Cause it's a far fetched wish you'll see Oh what a far fetched thing it'll be Cause you'll be too caught up in the present tense For little old past tense me When you move out of this town, oh, I promise you That you will show up sometimes in my dreams And you'll be doing something that you always do Like strumming your guitar on crumpled sheets And I will open up my eyes hoping to feel you there But I will only feel the cold bite of night air Cause when you move out of this town I will help you pack And as we hug I'll try hard not to cry And I will make you promise e these stupid little things But there is no such thing as a good goodbye And I will say I love you like I've said it times before I'll wave til I can't see your car anymore Cause I just want you to be happy Oh, I just know that you'll be happy And you'll be laughing, smiling in the present tense You won't have time for boring past tense me
5.
Daughter, daughter, it breaks my heart to see you crying Daughter, daughter, I know how hard you are trying Endlessly devoting every minute to the reckless pursuit of a cause Hopelessly putting your whole self in it; hopelessly lost I hope you find your way Brother, brother, I can't see you against your bruises Brother, brother, I know it's your power to choose this Endlessly avoiding every second that you have to recall what you've done Hopelessly recording every wreck and who you want to become I'm sure you'll be renewed Sister, sister, your world's become shadows and sessions Sister, sister, you can't find the meaning, the lesson Endlessly pursuing all the laughter of a life that was ripped from your hands Hopelessly finding nothing that you're after but a darkness you can't understand For now, just stay with me Oh my friends, I cannot see the beauty that's in this No romance; just the long nights spent screaming in sadness The days grow long; the nights even longer But they pass like the rolling of tides We're the broken, the wretched, the wanderers We deserve every moment of life And one day these shattered bones will shine One day these shattered bones will shine
6.
I will make my way to the city And sit and watch all the smart and pretty Little people live their more-than-normal lives And I will sit and talk to a stranger About the terrible and towering danger That is talking to somebody that you do not know There are things that I still need to do; I will not go I will ride my bike to the forest And sit and smell and touch all the purest Forms of spring and summer, fall; The toasted leaves falling down And I will go up north for Christmas With someone I love who loves me; it'll be just us We'll sit and hold hands, watch the new fallen snow There are things that I still need to do; I will not go I'm in a love hate relationship with my life I need to forget what is wrong with it Remember what is right I will teach a kid how to play guitar And let him rest his fingers when it gets hard And maybe I will have passed on something of worth I will jump in a car with some friends of mine We'll tell jokes, laugh, sing songs, and pass the time Just all of us, some playlists, and the open road There are things that I still need to do; I will not go I will finally learn how to love myself I can't do everything, but some things I do well Someday I'll realize that there's a reason I'm here And I will finish things I never thought I could Like write a novel, sew, just add something good To this world that needs a bit of beauty and hope There are things that I still need to do; I will not go I'm in a love hate relationship with my life I need to forget what is wrong with it Remember what is right We've got some things we still need to do; this world needs us alive We're going to make it through all of this We're going to be all right We're gonna be all right
7.
Here to Stay 03:08
All the ghost girls go to sleep and wake up all alone All the ghost girls go to sleep and wake up on their own time Open your eyes to the lazy stream of morning light The daylight sings soft; tells you everything will be all right When they ask you bout that golden gaze Look around you and then look away You've got nothing to say All the ghost boys blow out candles, wait for midnight's song All you ghost boys, you're hiding in the darkest corners of dawn Open your eyes to the gentle smile of the sunrise Seems to whisper that someday soon you will be alive When they ask you bout that golden gaze Keep your mouth shut; you are here to say And you've got nothing to say You've got nothing to say about it
8.
Drift Slowly 03:28
The first time that I met you I was young and I was scared I ran down to the river, brushed the tangles from my hair And they years go by like raindrops flowing smoothly down your skin I breath out. I breathe out. I breathe you in. We danced through scorching summers; said goodbye to our hometowns Let the cold air bite our cheeks the moment that the plane touched down And we walked through coastal cities, big museums, old hotels But we were destined to drift slowly, I could tell When you go away I can't say that I'll miss you Even though I can't quite promise that I won't So return back to the lover you have found so tall and fair Return back to your lover; I will go When you do things that'll harm, well, I stay silent, make no sound I just want you to be happy but also want you around Can you hear the siren calling you? Can you hear the water churn? Do not stand so close to fire; you will burn But you curse your past and turn your gaze to things that make a spark Lock your bedroom doors and ride away to strange things in the dark And I thought I knew you well, but now I don't know who you are I bet it's easy for you; for me, it's hard When you go away I won't say that I love you Even though I'm always thinking it too loud When you find the place that needs you cling close and draw it near Oh, hold tight, you might do your mother proud So when we part ways please be gentle and remember to stay kind Find the place that will accept you; I will go out and find mine Cause you're something I can't cling to and you deserve to be free Yeah, you deserve to be happy without me So the last time that I meet you I'll be older, I won't care I will pass you on a crowded street and wonder why you're there Can't imagine life without you but I'm eager to begin I'll breathe you out. I'll breathe you out. I'll breathe you out. I'll breathe in.
9.
I had a dream that you were five feet away from me Singing soft, singing slow, singing holy It's been a long year without you I only remember when I open my eyes and you're gone Some love is only felt when it's absent When I cried all night you were outside just waiting Held my hand, dried my eyes, said you'd be praying You said "pain grows stronger when you're silent "If you never speak up, you will never put right what is wrong" Your sad eyes sparkled in the darkness I wish you were here, but I'm glad our paths crossed like they did And all the kindness you gave, I will spread it Some people come through your life like a rainstorm Making everything new; leaving pieces of themselves behind And I hope that someday I can thank you When it's time
10.
A Cycle 06:14
The oak tree had two mothers The water and the earth And the Earth, she had two lovers But they ran away from her And me I've got too much to carry And not quite enough time So I'll throw myself to the ocean Beg the waves to please be kind to me But the ocean it has its problems They have seven billion names And their hands have lashed its surface With thousands of plastic chains But those waves, they are so forgiving They will flow til they can't anymore As for me, I will keep on floating Til my body hits the shore And the ground shook All the coldest parts of me waking And the ground took All the pieces that I had designed A cycle so kind The wind, he had two brothers The sunlight and the rain They are at war with each other Until only one remains But me, I've got no allegiance I don't get out much these days So please be gentle with me Old feelings rarely change, do they? Oh trials, please do not distort me And wind please do not let me fall And nature please do not abort me If I was ever here at all Let feet remain solid and grounded please don't let my body bend But if I am to be surrounded Don't let it be the end And the ground shook All the hardest parts of me breaking And the ground took All the pieces that I thought were mine A cycle so kind The forests, they forgot their fathers To remember their fearful friends Who were frequently fallen by fire Til they finally reached their ends And our lives, they bear simple resemblance Somewhere deep dark and damp in the woods And I don't think that we could have saved them I don't think that we should My family, please try to forgive me My friends, please try to forget Let my bones become only a memory That no one on this earth has known yet Our lights will get dimmer and dimmer Til they finally burn up And our hearts will get simpler and simpler Til we finally have enough And the ground shook All the oldest parts of me aching And the ground took All the pieces I left behind A cycle so kind

credits

released May 7, 2015

Recorded and mixed by John Carter
oddiomixer@yahoo.com
Album art by Ian Torrente
kidmars.deviantart.com
Big thanks to Evann Carter for all the cranberry juice
Oh and Nick Tasker helped too

Contact me: camilletorr@gmail.com

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Cam Torrente Los Angeles, California

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